In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
