His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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