i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
