i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
