Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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