OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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