THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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