the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
