that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
