The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
