Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
