Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
