Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
