Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
