dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
