my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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