Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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