the new term for farting is butt boxing.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
