happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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