He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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