Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
