I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The power of my boobs compel you
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
