Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
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