Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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