What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
