It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
