Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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