If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
