Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
