Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
