Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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