he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize