Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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