We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
