like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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