The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
