how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
