Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
