So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
