we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
