So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
