I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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