he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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