i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How does one acquire holy water?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
