problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
