Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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