i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
