I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
