Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
