we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
