I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
